There are six categories of people on dating sites: single, separated, divorced, widowed, lecher and the predator. Each one comes with a higher probability of certain risks and rewards depending upon their category.


When you first start dating you may be a bit excited about meeting someone and this may translate into not using your head when it comes to choosing from all those choices you find on e-dating services. It’s like a kid in a candy shop not knowing what to pick and very likely getting something less than the best due to impatience.


You can find some great mates in any of the categories of marital status. Just be aware of the various problems you may be confronted with, more or less depending upon their circumstance. When you list your profile choices, don’t hesitate requesting the ones you wish to consider (e.g. divorced and widowed) and leave out the others. While I never saw a profile choice for requesting the lecher, if you do see it, pass! And "Why" you might ask?


Let's begin with The Lecher: At first thought, isn’t everyone on this Internet site single? Of course they are supposed to be. Sadly, there are men and women (though mostly men) who fraudulently portray themselves as single, and they are actually married looking for conquests or testing the waters before they jump ship.


Some may consider a "serial dater" a lecher, but that is really a preference that must be respected. You may not want to date the serial dater, but as long as they let you know they aren't interested in a monogomous relationship, you have the choice to avoid them.


The lecher is dangerous and should be avoided at all cost. At worst, they could be psychopaths, though more than likely they are just lechers looking to score with an unsuspecting man or woman.


It’s difficult to defend against this type if you are the kind that is too trusting. Little things should give this fraud away, like they can only meet you on Tuesday nights. They will have a story: “That’s the only day I don’t’ have to take care of my kids,” or “that’s the only day they have off from their 100 hour a week work load.” The truth is that Tuesday is the only day his wife knows he will be out late because he tells her it’s bowling night or card night with the guys. Yes, there are jerks out there. Just look for things that don’t’ make sense.


A characteristic of lechers (and predators) that could help to give them away is that they are usually very comfortable with the dating scene. They are cool and sexually aggressive. Of course, don’t confuse the lecher with someone who is cool and sexually aggressive. I know. That didn’t help you one bit. The point here is that we would all like to be with someone who is cool and comfortable with sexuality especially if we are shy. This type of person easily breaks the ice. They could be that great “love of your life.” Just be aware that the lecher is usually good at this kind of thing, so give it some thought if this person is “too good to be true.”


It is sad that we have to be cynical about true love that should most certainly feel like it is too good to be true. All us romantics just have to be cautious! If you really like the person and are willing to make a little investment, stalk them. Well, not really, but find out where they live, park outside, and see what goes on at a few different times of the day. If you see their mate is living there, and that’s not part of their story, stay away.


Of course, don’t jump to conclusions. They may be seeing someone besides just you, or it could be their sister or office manager that stops by. If you don’t have the nerve to stalk, then just hire an investigator if you are really worried and like the person.

• MYSTERY DATER (2009/06/30 05:02)
Thanks for the info. Very good point made!
• Cameron Sharpe (2009/05/19 06:28)
Read the safety articles on dating - there are many available. They’ll make you feel a lot more secure and you’ll be able to carry out secure dating correspondence in no time. Once you’ve set your profile, the chances are high that you’ll find someone who has the same interests you have. Email exchange via the site usually is the next step. If you haven’t already, give it a shot, you’ll be impressed.

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