WHO YOU DATING
INTERNET DATING AT ITS BEST/WORST
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(2009/05/24)
 

Of all those available online daters, the separated individual could be a big risk and not a good choice in some respects. This is a person who may or may not go on to become truly available for a meaningful relationship. Since they have not yet finalized their marriage through divorce, they may be inclined go back to their spouse and cause you to experience a deep hurt if you fall for them.
        It is important to understand the dynamic of their marriage. For example, if the wife left the guy and he is heartbroken, but she realizes that she should have never left, he will be happy to take her back. That means your future with this guy is predicated on the whim of some nutcase who decides to return to the nest. You don't want that. You don't need to be pulled into the gutter with dysfunctional people.
        This means you are entitled to ask this perspective date about their back-story. Of course, not the second you speak to them, but in the course of your first conversation (on the phone or in person) you have a right to know where they are coming from.
        I know a woman whose husband left her out of the blue. One day, he just told her he was no longer in love and wanted a divorce. She insisted they had a great marriage, great sex and she had no idea why this happened. I personally think he was cheating on her and found the perfect new woman. She thinks that is not the case. And while she is mad as hell at him, if he decided to come back, I do believe she'd jump at the chance, because at that time she was just mad at him, in denial and hadn't had enough time to realize he was a prick.
        It doesn’t mean you should completely discount the separated Internet dating candidates because they are truly fresh meat and one could turn out to be a winner. If you are willing to take the risk, you may be getting a first chance to snag a good catch, assuming that they haven’t been separated for the past five years.
        For one reason or another, some people let their separation drag on and you could have potential problems getting them to make a commitment, or they may have great difficulty in finally obtaining a divorce once they fall for you.

You need to do your homework to find the prime, recently separated candidate. Actually any newcomer (separated, divorced or widowed) could be the one looking for a committed relationship. So, if you are astute and online 24-7, you have a fleeting opportunity to find the person who may be eager to enter a committed relationship. These new candidates are grabbed up rather fast if their nature is that of commitment, i.e. they are not interested in dating lots of people and will settle down with the first one they find appealing.

You do need to be careful, as all new entrants to the dating world could also be those who were spurned and have no intention of future commitment early on. You have to be discerning to know the difference, or you may wind up with a lovely person who will never consider marriage. If marriage is your goal, you should try to figure this out before you waste too much time or fall too deeply in love.


Comments
• Mystery Dater (2017/02/25 16:16)
What a great story! It does prove the point here that one who dates a separated person can end up with great disappointment when a couple resolves their marital issues as you did. May all your years be joyful!
• theresaaddison33@gmail.com (2017/02/25 12:45)
Before coming across the advice on http://Prophetakeem.webs.com/ my marriage was in serious danger of heading towards divorce. Now we are in a better place than we ever were before! I feel very lucky and blessed that we were able to turn our marriage around like this. My husband used to spend as much time as he could away from home. Now we are so in love and its funny now he had to go away for the week we have been talking on the phone every day. We can\'t wait to see each other again! If you want to stop your divorce, you totally can!! Don\'t give up on love!

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