There may come a time that you wait for a call that never comes. Someone contacts you by email or phone and says they will give you a call and they don’t. This can mess with your head as you try to think of the seven-hundred-fifty-four reasons they didn’t call, when in reality it may be something innocuous.

First let’s examine the reasons you first think explain why they didn’t respond to your emails. These reasons depend on your ego. If you are the confident type, you will immediately figure that they never called or emailed back because they realized by the initial contact that you were far superior to their simplistic intellect and mundane life they lead. You assume they realize they could never fit in with your jet-set life style let alone have a conversation with someone like you.

At the other end of the spectrum are those who are not so confident. They might think the reason for not emailing back is related to tragic consequence such as that the other person may have realized that you had spinach caught between your front teeth, and even though they couldn’t see it, they knew it was there, none the less, by the wording you chose in your last email to this individual. Maybe that’s an unusual example, but perhaps, you figured that the person could tell you are a dullard by the font you chose for you emails.

Other considerations relate to phone calls. In the case of phone contact, both of you had the chance to know more about the other person than could be learned by mere email. Now you had the chance to hear the voice, any associated tones that might be garnered in such a conversation and you also have the chance to analyze the content of such conversation. Now, if they don’t call you back or don’t pick up your calls you want to know why. The same thoughts go through your head as with the email relationship that ended with no explanation. The confident people fault the other person and those lacking confidence blame themselves, while, in fact, it often has nothing to with you personally. So let’s explore the reasons people don’t get back to you besides your being a loser.

The most likely non-personal reason (i.e. your phone conversations and/or emails don’t reveal you to be a total loser) usually relates to situations going on in the other person’s life. Quite often, the other person has found another person while they were shopping around. That’s right, if you are looking for a nice outfit and traveled to many store, once you find what you want, you’re not running back to the other stores. Same goes for Internet dating. That nice person you spoke with or emailed a few times has found someone else. Now, do realize the courtesy of an explanation is in order, but so many people are either aloof, too busy, inconsiderate of generally don’t realize that the proper courtesy is a simple explanation: “After receiving your email, I just knew you had spinach between your front teeth – central incisors – and that’s a turn off to me, so I won’t be communicating with you any longer.”

They may have gone back with a previous lover. That is quite common.

They may have given up on dating after having many unsuccessful encounters.

And don’t forget, they may have died. I know that’s a morbid thought, but it can’t be left out of consideration when trying to rationalize why you didn’t get a call back.

Let’s not forget the possibility that this perspective mate may have moved out of the geographical local –GU – geographically undesirable.

Now for some personal reasons they may have avoided your calls and emails.

You were, in fact, a drip. You folks usually know who you are.

There is the possibility that you were not the other person’s type either from an educational view, a looks view or you may have incompatible interests, like one of you like to ski, hike and ride dirt bikes while the other is a nester. You get the point.

Don’t get hung up on searching for reasons that one fish got away. Remember, there are many fish in the sea or however that saying goes.

• Lynne Tucker (2012/04/02 05:55)
The dating sites have become the way one dates. There are sooooo many and sooooo many choices for both men and women.

Bottom line...if you write someone and do not hear back or they contact you and then you don't hear from them again...DON'T take it personally.

To me that is just a sign to keep searching. It just was not meant to be and it is their loss.

Happy searching (*.*)
• An Interested Reader (2012/04/02 01:23)
To quote a sucessful former e-dater I know, "Pick up the pieces of your shattered life and move on."

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