Quite often, when perusing the little photos of perspective mates on Internet dating sites, I think the dating service must have sent me suggestions from the wrong group of women. These women are very much older than me.

Annoyed, I would then look at the person's age, and I'm really shocked! These old looking women are often ten or more years younger than me. How is this possible?

Actually there is a simple answer - I look just as old to all the women looking at my photo.

Yes.... you get old and don't see it.

Many years ago, at 75 years of age, my father told me he couldn't believe that he was 75. Inside he said he felt like 21. At that time, I didn't fully understand what he was talking about. Now, I understand. As we age, we don't see the cumulative effect. After all, we look in the mirror every day and it's difficult to see much change from day to day. If you didn't see yourself for many years, you would be shocked at the way time takes a toll, just like when you see an old friend from years ago and you can't believe it's them.

There is a set point at which people actually look young to you. For each of us this set-point may differ a bit, and I think it changes as we get older. For example, I notice that the forty-something women seem to look young to me. I suppose when I'm eighty, the sixty-something women will look young.

Do the mates ten and twenty years younger than you have any interest in becoming your soul mate? Good question! I would suspect that they are experiencing the same dilemma and looking at people ten and twenty years younger than they are.

I always laugh when I see a woman 56 saying that she is looking for a mate between 40 and 52. Does she think men in thier forties are looking for her? Is her perception of "self" a tab-bit warped?

It's a little understood but real phenomenon - we don't realize how much we have aged, and we seem to be attracted to people who look like we think we do. Boy, are we deceived!

Fortunately, there are some people who have aged very well. You’ll know them when you see their photos, feel an attraction, and then be very surprised when you see their age, because they look ten to twenty years younger than stated.

• ms kaye (2012/12/09 10:06)
Ok, I'll agree and have accepted that I've gotten older, only by the numbers and not so quickly by my appearance. Fortunately, I look younger than my age both in my photo and in person, not because of any botox injections, fake tanning or whatever... common sense in taking care of myself. Anyway, the guys who are attracted to me are the ones who need to reduce a few pounds in which they can view their toes, if they're still there. I do set my goals in meeting guys my age (I'm almost 50) who are fit and know how to maintain a reasonable body appearance... sadly when I do, they want to start a 2nd family and a younger wife - Pardon me? What's wrong with picture? I don't have nor want any children and very content with that aspect of my life... yet, guys approaching middle age and over the hump really require of getting their biological clocks maintenance because parenthood is demanding at any age. Well, I do hope upon meeting a potential partner who's childless free and looks handsome both inside and out, in that order, and appreciates in growing old gracefully without the skin tightening and nip/tucks.
• Lynne (2011/04/06 03:41)
They say age is but a number. Well how true is that. My feeling is that one has to be lucky to be born with great genes. Now those who don't can look good for their age by taking care on oneself which most people don't. The sad thing is there are so many women that try to look younger than they are rather to look fabulous for their age.

Most women really need to pay attention and could surprise themselves if they just take care and be who they are. If a guy is looking for a young women then why the heck would the woman think they would want to date them.

I am very fortunate that I look great for turning 60...OUCH. That hurst but that's life. Now if I can look this good when I am 70 or 80 I won't have anything to complain about. As far as the dating well it is all about time and trust me if a guy any age wants a young chick then why in the world would I think at my age I would have a chance. Women need to be themselves and in time someone will come their way and appreciate them for them and be blessed they could meet such a wonderful woman who makes them feel great about themselves, too.

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